Muting one self

So, today I went back to a bad habit and muted myself for a moment. It's something that I said I wouldn't do again. This time I muted myself because I thought it was the right thing to do. Not that it was right for me, but right for overall.

I was called to the table by Ron. He's like that. I don't think he thinks he like that, but he asked.. Why'd you do that. I gave a half ass reason, which was true kind of, but there was also another reason. He questioned that and I confessed the other reason. Okay, confess is the wrong word. It was more like I expanded my answer to be all inclusive of my reason.

In my head the reason felt valid. It felt right and it felt like it would just make everything easier. Until I started to talk it out loud with Ron. Then it seemed like I was being dishonest to myself, my feelings and the things I do want to share with the world. Then I felt silly and realized that I being muted will only lead to my own misery in the long term and whatever I want to say; just say and let the chips fall where they will.. knowing that I love and I am loved.

So.. I have been reminded of that lesson tonight. I am again thankful to have such a wonderful person and feel so loved and cherished by him. I am proud to call him my boyfriend, and was reminded again tonight by him that he is proud to have me as his girl :D

I smiley again on the inside.... Goofy and happy.

In other news, my plans changed for the weekend. After talking with Michael.. we decided we are doing a shopping trip instead of a trip to mountaineer, which was the original plan. It just doesn't make sense right now and we both want to look at clothes and I am interested in looking at things for the house. So, we decided that we are going to be going to Columbus to a outlet mall down there. I love outlet malls and malls in general. It's fun to look and dream and save my pennies for all the wonderful things that they carry :D

So, that is the new plan. Get up on Sunday and head south to Columbus.. shop.. sleep.. eat :D I think I just saw a movie like that LOL.. that was funny in my own head... hope you laughed too. ( the name of the movie is Eat, love, Pray..totally different )

Goodnight my friends, family and Love.. I honor you all in my heart.

Chrissy

p.s I am on blog fire ;)