Mom

I had a few different topics floating in my head tonight, and then finally the right one came..

My mom

In a few hours from now, I almost lost my mom 9 years ago. The reason why I almost lost her is not important. Those who know, know and those are the only people that really need to know.

I remember the night so clearly, as if it happened yesterday. I remember being asleep and my ex-husband waking me up in the middle of the night to tell me. I remember, making a frantic call to work explaining that I would not be coming in, and driving way to fast to her house. I remember that the ambulance was just about to pull out of the driveway as I got there. I didn't get to see her. I was in a panic.

It was just my dad, my brother and I. I only remember being with my little brother. Looking at him with sadness. He was so young. I didn't have the right words to express to him what I needed and wanted to say to him. Even though the hospital is not that far away, it seemed to take forever to get there. I just wanted to see my mom. I wanted to hold her, and love her and hug her.

I remember.. saying too many prayers, I remember begging with my father that she will be okay. I remember crying tears that came from my soul. I remember from the pit of my soul, just wanting my mom to be okay. I remember making tough calls, and feeling so very helpless.

I remember her waking up.. The sense of happiness and joy. It was celebratory. I remember sitting w/ her and watching her get better. I remember her coming home. I remember how happy I was she was still part of the family.

And 9 years later, I think of her and I love her so much. She is such a great lady. She has this laugh when that comes from her belly when she gets going that can light up a room. She loves so big. She would give the shirt of her back for her family and friends. She is really sensitive to life, and at times this can be frustrating it give you an new perspective on feelings. It allows you to stop and realize that feelings are okay and to celebrate them for all that they are. She is just an amazing person when all is said and done.


So while other think of those who lost their lives on 9/11.. I am thankful that one was saved. I am thankful every single day. She is on borrowed time... and I am thankful the Lord knew we still needed her.