Is is really that big of a deal..

I quit smoking at midnight. I quit for a number of reasons. One was for myself. I can just feel my lungs and heart taking the beating and I decided that this is not the " thing" that I want to kill me. Second, I am with and love a man very much who has ashthma ( spelling??), and I can listen to his lungs rattle away on most days. So, if I can look at him and tell him how much I cherish him, then should that not be actionable in some way? Shouldn't I be able through an action on my own to show that. So.. I put them down. I am happy that I put them down. Right this second I am frustrated cause withdrawn sucks badly! I mean really badly! It last 72 hours. Then it's just a habit change. I can do that.

I think I am going to start walking on my treadmill again. I like to walk and it builds my strength up in my feet. :) So, walk I will do. I was walking last year for a good while and then I just stopped, that was stupid of me.

I met a boy. He's so nice. I love him to pieces. It hit me like a lighting bolt. Wasn't really looking, and wasn't really ready for it. But there he was.. Here is the backstory in all it's glory

I had come home from a bad date one day. I blogged about it. So, I was on facebook. and I looked at a friends friend list. I asked her which ones were single. She told me Ron's. I looked at his profile and he made me laugh with a funny post. I told my friend.. "tell him to add me, I wanna talk to him ".. she comes back and says " no, he told me to tell you to add him" .. **sigh** I am thinking to myself. I will add him and talk to him. Now, I didn't ever think anything would come of this. I was going to talk to Ron, and we would be funny facebook friends.

But then, I liked him. He made me laugh. He was sweet and funny, and considerate. Not exactly what I had been used to getting. And I was drawn to him. Soon, a few days later, he had an excuse to call me.. since the story he wanted to tell me was soooooooo long that he could just not type it all out. Yeah! I think to myself, I get to hear his voice. He was so nervous telling me all about Europe. I am not sure to this day if I understood it all, but 3 hours later we were laughing and joking around very much at ease.

So, I couldn't sleep that night. I was all in a twitter about talking to a boy on the phone. What the hell was wrong with me. For the reals. This is not typical behavior of me. I have hung out and talked to boy the majority of my life. They are usually my best friends and protectors. What is this butterfly like a boy feeling.

Next day, I am at work, thinking about this boy named Ron who has no facebook profile picture.. and smiling. He asks me if I want to get coffee and dessert at Denny's. Yippie I think on the inside. I am going to meet this boy, but I play it super cool. ( not really) and talk to him through the night and tell him that I am nervous ( boy was I) and that I had to look super cute. Boy thank goodness I had brought stuff to work with me! So, I am trying to work, and get ready.

I remember walking up to the door in the rain. I had 2 choices, run to the door and possibly fall and look like an butthead, or walk and appear to be so cool she didn't care if her hair got ruined. I totally picked walked, cause looking cool was pretty important ;). I remember laying eyes on him for the first time. It made me more nervous!!!

and boy was I so nervous. Like freakishly nervous. And Ron is really logical, which is really endearing most times. That night he just calls my emotion out on the table. So, you are nervous let's talk about. And a part of me is like. WTF, are you kidding me, and the other part of me just thinks this is the cutest thing that has ever happened. So, we talk about why I am nervous and I think I said something, but really what is a girl suppose to say.. I am nervous cause I like you and totally want you to like me back!! No, I don't think I said that.

Then he must have been really lucky because there was a water leak on his side of the table and he had to sit next to me. :D It was hard for me to look into his eyes though. I liked that, when he was across from me.

We talked for a few hours, listened to music in his car and shared a hug and kiss goodnight.... The rest we can say is growing and building and am I loving every single minute of it. My heart is on fire and I am enjoying the feelings....

But not in a race to the finish line. I am enjoying every moment.. soaking it in.

So, in case you were wondering that is my side of the story...

I am very happy with Ron, and it's just fun to be his girlfriend and it's fun for him to be my boyfriend and just grow and learn about each other. I am not in a rush for anything other than that. :P I love him very much and want to be in his life for as long as he allows me, but I want that to be by our rules and do things by our decisions, and just be happy!!

So.. that is my blog for today. Ronnie, the Ron rocks. and Phantom Rocked!